During my
secondary school days, I was an unmotivated student. In my secondary 3
Mathematics examination, I scored a single digit point. Upon the receipt of my
result, though I felt a little upset, I had already expected it as I knew I did
not prepare for the examination. My teacher then pulled me out of class during
lesson to speak to me regarding the matter.
She said, “How
do you feel when your classmates are easily scoring A grades, while you are
still struggling to cope with this subject? Do you want this result for your ‘O’
levels? It will follow you the rest of your life.” I was taken aback at the moment
by the impact of her words. It was a moment of realization. I told myself that I
do not want to be an underachiever again. From that day onwards, my work ethic
improved drastically, with frequent meetings with her for consultation.
In the end,
I achieved my A grade for Mathematics for ‘O’ levels. Till today, I am grateful
to her for picking me up from the academic slump, and will always be reminded
of her life lessons she gave me. I truly believe her priceless teachings will serve
me good throughout my life, in whatever relevant situation that will arise.
The essay clearly described what he had learned and how he felt in his learning journey. With an interesting and attractive outline, the reflection is indeed coherent for the readers to understand.
ReplyDelete[She said, “How do you feel when your classmates are easily scoring A grades, while you are still struggling to cope with this subject? Do you want this result for your ‘O’ levels? It will follow you the rest of your life.”] - This part makes the whole essay even more interesting!! I like it!
ReplyDeleteWith the usage of the connectors make it even smooth ! GOOD JOB !
The reflection is truly personal and encouraging. The transition is clear, from the context, to the emotional impact, followed by the conclusion. Everything is coherent and message conveyed is straight forward.
ReplyDeleteContent: I enjoyed reading your work. You reflective writing truly reflected upon your experiences in changing from a lazy to a hardworking student. Good job!
ReplyDeleteOrganisation: A very coherence piece of writing indeed. You first described the event, and then reflected upon how and what you did to change. Good job!
Language:
Overall, your writing is concise and expressive. I enjoyed reading your work. However, there are some errors you may like to think about:
1.'I was taken aback at 'the' moment by the impact of her words. It was a moment of realization'. Think about what the difference is between 'at the moment' and 'at that moment'.
2. I told myself that I 'do' not want to be an underachiever again. Think about why 'do' should be 'did'.
3. ...my work ethic improved drastically, with frequent meetings with her for consultation. Normally when you attach a 2nd part of the sentence (,with frequent meetings with her for consultation) to the first, the second part 'describes' the first part.
Think about this: Does the 2nd part of your sentence clearly describe how having consultations with your teacher illustrate your ethics improved? Or, do you think your reader may have to guess how the two parts relate? How may you make the relationship more explicit?
4. ...and will always be reminded of 'her' life lessons she gave me. Why do you think it should be 'the' instead of 'her'?
Your blogging buddies were right. This is a very encouraging piece of writing.
ReplyDelete